Eat Ducks.

So a girl walks into a really fancy restaurant. Orders the seared duck. Duck arrives well done. Girl flips the fuck out and kills everyone within a 50 mile radius. Girl squashes entire villages in her scramble to obtain all the ingredients necessary to make a redeeming duck dish. Girl also kills the last animal of a dying species because she just didn't give a fuck. There is no greater quest, no feat more noble, than the quest of forever washing the taste of failure off your tongue...with something much more delicious.

 BEHOLD!

The dish consists of:

A chipolini onion puree, cut with just a lil' bit of po-tater for texture. This puree is easy to make. Offensively easy. You just boil your peeled little onions, however much potato you want (the more potato you add, the thicker the puree...This one in particular has one peeled (and diced) russet tater to about 2 pounds chipolini onions), when they're tender drain them and toss into a food processor. Process till smooth (like 15 seconds) add butter, salt and pepper to taste.

 

Play tic-tac-toe on the skin side of your duck breast with a paring knife (i.e. score the fat for optimal rendering, season with salt, pepper, paprika, honestly I forget what I did. Season it with good stuff.

In a cast iron pan sear the duck breasts presentation side down .

Flip those duck titties over and pop the whole godamned pan in a 500 degree oven for 5 minutes precisely for a perfectly rare duck breast. Let rest at least 5 minutes on a cutting board.

To plate, spoon the onion puree onto your dish, top with steamed veggies of your choice (asparagus and red russian kale pictured) and top with the duck breast.

 Anyone can prepare this meal with about a half hour of effort. Suck it Rachel Ray (the 50's called, it wants to tell you that nobody gives a fuck about fritattas), and all those other people who "just don't have the time to cook."

I win.

A special thanks to Derek Melton of Mimosa Restaurant, who can cook one MEAN duck breast! 
(unaffiliated with the fancy joint that tried to serve me well done duck)