Schweet toof.

Hey! Remember that time when the economy totally sucked and it was impossible to find a job?!?! Oh wait, that's right now. 

 The moral of today's story: When everything blows, make candy.

BEHOLD!! A sheet of delectable caramel (Recipe here) is lovingly transformed into....

...Dark chocolate caramel squares!!! 

Today's flavors:

-Bacon & sea salt
-Walnut & sea salt
-Coconut, Chili & sea salt

And also dark chocolate toffees!!! FUCK YES!

Today's flavors:

-Rosemary Walnut
-Black pepper & Chili
-Cacao nib & date
-S'more style 
-Cocoa dusted


A day of failure?

I think not. More like a day for deliciousness.

The Art of Grilled Artichokes.

This is quite possibly one of the most delicious appetizers on the planet. Everyone should know how to make it because its fucking simple.

Step One: Acquire artichokes using any means necessary (i.e. robbery, prostitution).


Step Two: Toss your artichokes (one choke for two people if you're doing appetizers, or one choke per person if it's the main) into a pot filled half-way with water, the juice of one lemon (you can put the juiced lemon halves in the water), and healthy dose of dried oregano. Bring to a rolling boil for about 45 minutes.


Step Three: While you're waiting for your delicious chokes you can make a godamned sauce for their leaves to dip their toes in.(While you're at it you can start preheating your grilling apparatus because that thing should be smokin' hot by the time yer chokes are done boiling.) Combine the following ingredients in a bowl to make a delicious sauce. If you can't figure out how to make it taste good, you're stupid. Go out to eat. One tip: think thick, not runny.


-2 heaping spoonfuls mayonaise
-Juice of 1/2 lemon
-1 tbs dried tarragon
-1 tbs fresh chopped basil
-At least 6 cloves of finely minced garlic....YEAH
-Fresh ground pepper
-Sea salt
-A few shakes of yer favorite hot sauce. Ideally not Tabasco, because it is an overpowering and unnecessarily vinegary hot sauce that makes delicious things cry bitter tears of unfathomable sorrow. Try Widow Maker instead.


Step 4: 45 minutes are up! Drain your chokes, relocate to a cutting board, stem side up, and cut them all the way in half. Using the curve of a spoon to your advantage, gently remove the choke fuzz from each half. Then you place the artichoke halves in a bowl and toss liberally with olive oil, sea salt and FRESH ground pepper. Now run your little buns out to the grill, slap those suckers on, and grill them until they look delicious. 

Cool.

Serve 'em up on a wooden cutting board and enjoy! Also, you know you made your artichoke sauce right if your face looks like this when you're enjoying a bite: